The Dreamscape and You

Darling, I know your head is clouded with dreams
Trying to figure them out isn't what it seems
They get worse, your ideas, you can't converse
what you feel, you throw aside, because you find it hard to deal

let it all out for once
let the words come out even if there is none
bear it all on me
i've been waiting for the moment
when you set yourself free

The chains they've set on us
The cage we live in, but are to blind to accept
that we are free spirits only when we give up everything that we thought made us, us

I don't know how much longer I will be able to stand your babble
Because it's becoming drowned out by the nonsense you're involved with
Your personality is weak, personality is a disease.

I am who I am and I concern myself with everything I feel is actually important
The gossip that surrounds me does not make me, me
My name was given to me, never did i have a choice
Who I am, is just a memory, forever encased in your memory.

You are not who you think you are.
Your friends do not define you.
Your name does not define you.
Your dreams do not define you.

You define you.

I've become passive, but not weak.
Strong willed in the things I seek.
I am more aware than I've ever been.
I shall seek the answers or they shall find me.
I will abuse this dream because I already accept the possibility
that this in fact all a dream.

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this will be the last post I ever have in here.
If you'd like to see more of my writing.
Or would like to get to know me.
simple, find me, hang out with me.
I will invest the the same amount of time you put into me, into you.


unless you are just useless and are still enjoying the fruits of this dream.
"They enjoy their igno­rance and cling tightly to the misery that gives them iden­tity."

You Must Promise Me This Will Never Happen Again

Here I lay in my bed of snakes
Their cold scales are the only thing I felt
When the news was broke (Through the new year)
The venom spread so fast
I had no concept of time
or how much longer I'd be able to stay alive

We're all victims of emotions
Loyalty and trust, compromised for the sake of happiness
and in the wake of it all
you destroyed what took us so long to built

the walls came down crumbling around me
i was left to fend for myself and through that
i found the only strength i have is within me
this is when i realized my life is just a series of unfortunate events
and i'm standing in the silhouette

I will smash our memories straight into oblivion
to start anew, to give you the second chance
and if betrayed by your hands again
I swear I won't be as passive
But I have hope, I have hope that you have seen what I've seen
and in this life, you are all i need
I hope you have come to see what I see


Through these murky skies, we will prevail
through these rough seas, we will never anchor down
steadfast through the storm because it's the only way I know

eradicate the memories of the past
to begin a new, to begin your second chance.
don't fail me, I've put everything I know in you.
don't fail me.

Clarity Part II

Dear You,

This is a formal letter written in words that jump and you can sing along too
no matter who you are, or how you're feeling. this isn't a sad song
because i don't want to be crying these tears for nothing
so lets get up and get out!
just me and you, I'll treat you the way I should have
Cause I've come to terms with how you got over me so easily
and it's very very easy to explain, i wasn't worth keeping around
maybe you felt that i was bringing you down
and I was, and I'm sorry for not being who I needed to be for you
Apologies and I'm sorry's for the person I used to be
And from the new me, an I love you and I miss you, but i get it now
This is clarity for the first time in my life
and you brought it to me inadvertently
I'd take you back anytime of the week, month or year.
I'll always be right here, but I'm not waiting
I'll just keep my arms open and the light on because you never know
fate can be very cheesy, but if it's meant to be, we will be.
and that's enough to keep moving, to keep going.
I apologize for it being so long, but it took a couple of days to write this song
it's been in my head for days, and i was searching for the perfect words to say
and if i scared you away, with things like forever and marriage
just know i meant what i said when i said
"you're the only girl who could put up with me till death."
baby, it was a compliment. it was a compliment.
I apologize for dragging this out, and I apologize for some childish things i did
But My head is screwed tight, I'm not going anywhere without your memory in mind
and I'm not sad anymore, and I'm so glad you're doing well.
I'll make sure to keep in touch, but please don't forget about me.


Yours Truly, Sincerely,
Ian Cordova


PS. I loved you, and still do. I miss you, but it's through
Today I learned the meaning of change, and it's always happening.

Clarity

I have been blinded by selfish ideals
I've always thought the world needed change
But I realize now that I am the one who must change
I must be strong and full of heart
Nothing will stop me once I've reached where I need to be
And no one can teach me that but myself
I must learn and I must live on my own
The road will be harsh and at times everything will seem worthless
but i must persevere, I must strive
Today, marks a new beginning in my life and my life alone
Today, I see things in a new light.

Life and Death and the Importance of Knowing the Difference

I will die with my words at my teeth
reach the surface begging for sweet oxygen
How many more rounds do I have before I'm the victim?
Take a quick look around, hear the sound of silent cries for help
this is a war, this is a massacre
what will we have to drink and eat today?
ah, a bottle of your finest blood
and the freshest cooked meat of our enemies
We love to forget the very essence of our core
No one wants to believe we're all the same
It's like speaking in tongue to the dumb
The wool is over your eyes and the sheep are in wolves skin
i used to be able to smell their fear
now i can only battle with my tears
for i thought, kill or be killed?
so yelled up at the sky
"Lord, if you're listening, send me a sign!"
He sent down a nuclear bomb
and I cleansed mankind

Most Things Are Easier Said Than Done

An emotionless shipwreck, caught up on the shores of loneliness
and the rocks that pierce through this, are the last words you said to me
I can't understand how I've gotten so attached
and yet I've got so much life left to live or do i?
I'm the kind of person who looks at the bigger picture
rather than what's been shoved down our throats
i can't forget the way you made feel, and I hope, given the circumstances,
that we may find our way back into our arms
but it seems almost impossible to reach you dear.
my window of opportunity is lost in the fog of the future
and our steps we take now only dictate where we'll end up
so we're not going anywhere running in circles.

I wonder about the men and women and children who've never felt the love of another
and i wonder are they the lucky ones or the unfortunate?
i can't decide anymore on much of anything.
my mind has become a grave for ideas to rot
because no ones listening to me again, and i can't say it feels great
am i that much different from you?
take off your shirt and show me your bones
show me your skin, show me where love comes from
because i had found it inside you
it was hard to find, and hard to attain
and i enjoyed the climb but wasn't ready for the fall

now here i lay, wondering who's next to catch your eyes
and i can't lie, but i die a little inside from the news
broadcasting from your mouth, straight into my ears
like a silencer held right up against my chest
the trigger will be pulled multiple times
and i'm wondering when will i become numb
when will i give up on love?
because if everything eventually ends
we were never worth it from the beginning
and you said, "ian, you're so pessimistic.
did i not mean anything to you?
what we had was great.
it had it's place, it had it's time. time to move on.
now sweetheart you know better than i do,
we all need to be alone, sometimes."


i can't forget the way you made me feel
i know from experience we had something no one had.
but like you said girl, "we all need to be alone, sometimes."
i just wish i wasn't alone.
take my heart away, it's yours to keep,
i've figured out, i don't need it anymore
so until you return, hold it near
because you're holding me.

Your Intentions Were Mistaken For Selfishness

I KNOW, for a fact, that I'm a small part
in your head and in your heart
the effort made to say anything to me
without me saying a god damn thing to you
is comparable to the cheapness of your taste

something must have invaded your mind
clouded your love, and steered you away from me
but it ain't that easy baby
I've got arms like tentacles
and I'm ready to pull you to me
whether you like it or not

and it's the beast in me that feeds off the purity i took from you
and it's the coward in me who won't let the tears fall as they may
but we're just rollin' dice in this game of life

you're hoping for the best, but i've always expected the worse

you are stretching the truth
you're lost in the haze
people say it's okay to dream
but be careful with reality
and i know so much about it
it will hit you like bricks

and if and when it does, I'll be long gone
this body has become a vessel
you have become a commoner